Wednesday, August 26, 2015

My "Swedish chair"



I recently narrated the account of my wife sending me a text message in which she requested that I do something about my “Swedish chair”. I didn’t quite understand what she was referring to and it was only after enquiring from her, that it became evident what she meant. Some years ago I studied in Sweden during the heart of winter. I lived in a student commune and upon returning from university daily I would remove my jacket and place it on the single arm chair in my room. After several days the chair would be filled with several items of clothes I left out to “air”, but eventually ended up taking permanent residence on my “Swedish chair”. 

I am not sure whether you can relate to this story. I mean no offense to my Swedish friends for linking my ill-habit to them. Yet, I do think that many people have a “Swedish chair” in their lives. What starts out as an innocent decision soon becomes the dumping ground for unrealized dreams or the procrastinating of a to-do list which never seem to be dealt with. And after a while, we lose a part of ourselves, because invariably one will start looking for that one item, only to realize that you never sent a forwarding address to your brain when deciding to relocate it. This is what we do every day. I know, you are thinking that I am generalizing and maybe I am guilty of doing so. 

The dilemma with having a “Swedish chair” is that after a while those living with you might want to close the door in order to conceal its existence to passing guests to your home. It becomes a sight for sore eyes. And the longer one takes to “dethrone” the chair, the more strain it places on the relationships between oneself and others. One is often so used to the sight of ones inadequacies that your expectation is that others also turn a blind eye to the existence of your ill-choices. I would be the first to admit that there are days or moments when the existence of a “Swedish chair” has its place. Yet, the greatest challenge is to understand that a “Swedish chair” becomes an extension of who you are. Especially when you have parts of yourself lying in a corner unresolved, unbecoming and in many ways unapologetic for not being better than you potentially are able to be.